


How I Met A Knight

by straightouttapopstar



Category: Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Dedesuka, Gijinka, I hope that the romance isn't going to be the only plot, More characters will join as the story progresses, Multi, ahhhhhh all of your otps and notps will appear in this, if it progresses at all, if you are going to have a look at this ridiculous thing then thank you, my first ever multichapter thing, please tell me if you find it mildly interesting, this is stressing, this may get better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 14:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7442551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straightouttapopstar/pseuds/straightouttapopstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a dire afternoon at Castle Dedede. Servants are working, the kitchens are steaming - and the King? The King is looking for a way to stew up some trouble. But his history with TV programmes isn't so great - with numerous failures in the filming industry, he's looking for something new. And what does he find?<br/>A dating show.<br/>And Meta Knight is the main bachelor, up for taking by every any contestant who is desperate enough for him or his power.<br/>But who will win this glamorous game of passion?<br/>((This may become a multi-chapter thing if I figure out a good plot))</p>
            </blockquote>





	How I Met A Knight

I was bored.  
I wasn't just bored. I was very bored. It was time to cook up some chaos.  
I had brilliant schemes in mind. Machines that humankind hadn't seen before. Contraptions that had been too complicated to construct and let alone use!  
However, since NME had been obliterated along with the Customer Service by the super tough pink guy himself, I was left to entertain myself.  
I was too lazy to constuct anything, to be fair. Lately I'd just been spending my days on the throne, not bothering to get up to do whatever a king does. Of course, popato chisps were being regularly delivered to yours truly, and were being consumed as fast as a 100-men feast.  
Sighing and waving my head from left to right in drowsiness, I could observe my little lean right-hand servant balancing plates on sticks. It was a nice act, really. Equipped with two stick-propelled plates on his hands and one on his head, he had the most determined grin I had ever seen. Seeing his eyes sharply observing the plates and tongue out in concentration, I couldn't help but secure a laugh.  
Sometimes the guy was so cute - I was convinced he'd go to the moon and back for me if I wished.  
I only put my hand forward and he let everything clatter to the floor. His grin had been replaced by a noticeable frown.  
I couldn't look at his sadness. It just hurt my heart to see him so.  
"Escargon, hey, don't be so blue. But these tricks have grown old-zoi!"  
I jumped from my throne, making an extravagant pose and landing gracefully on the floor.  
Well, with as much grace as a chubby guy with a big wooden hammer could have.  
But it did the justice it should have - from following me skeptically with his eyes, he was now clapping at my showiness.  
I faced him with mirth.  
"We need a new show!"  
He seemed to get my idea, and vigorously nodded.  
"Yes we do!"  
I was beside myself that he agreed with my scheme, I just couldn't wipe that smirk off of my face.  
I pointed at him once more.  
"And when do we need it?!"  
We grabbed hands in a heartfelt gesture, and I lifted him up in glee.  
And for the sole purpose of making this more dramatic.  
Many Waddle Dees gathered in the room, watching our spectacle with unbelievable interest. There were crowds and crowds of Waddle Guards, looking at us intently as if we were a colourful children's cartoon. Me and him were both so ecstatic, we didn't hesitate to scream:  
"...We need it NOW!"  
We received a lot of claps from the enamored critters, and I allowed him to step down from my hands.  
If I had called myself graceful, that was a mistake - or at least nothing compared to his elegance. His steps were so careful, so delicate, I was close to showing my worries when he landed on the ground. What if he crumbled like porcelain and I wasn't able to stick him back together?  
Waddle Doo put up his hand in confidence.  
"'Ey, Sire! What if we all think of a scheme? A hundred heads is better than two, surely!"  
I judged that his idea was brilliant, and we all got into a circle, placing our hands on the shoulders of the people on each of our two sides. It was a real discussion circle, like the ones that the main anime villains construct when they're out of ideas!  
The talking was very lively and I attempted to get into a conversation, yet something was distracting me. The person on my right was shuffling violently, presumably trying to get out of my tough grasp.  
That person was none other than Escargon.  
When I faced him, he flushed red before scrambling for words but being too ashamed to continue the struggle or his sentence. We just stared at each other, not moving in any way. Conversation was still filling our ears as keen Waddle Dees debated over their favourite TV shows around us, paying our pair no attention at all.  
The right-hand servant caught their collar with a finger before waving it a little to ease the heat burning in his cheeks.  
Gosh, he was so cute.  
"Um, s-sorry, King, I was just a little...uncomfortable."  
He stuttered! He actually stuttered!  
I probably am in for this very badly, but so what?  
I took my hand away immediately, giving him space. This left him shocked, unable to form the words to ask why.  
I have always been known as a very touchy-feely person - if I didn't like someone, I'd start a fight. If I hated someone, I'd hit them with my hammer. If I liked someone (a very rare occurence), I'd hug them.  
This means I was at a disadvantage because, Escargon... He was a totally different person.  
I never would have supposed I'd like him so much I wouldn't be able to let him go to a different room. During his first day at work, he was a very shy fresh-out-of-school guy, making a lot of effort to show that he adored me as a King.  
As a King. Yes, that was my exact problem.  
He didn't like me because I had an attractive personality or irresistible looks. He liked me because if he got on my bad side, he knew that his future would be painful. He liked me because he knew he'd have a lot of opportunities waiting for him everywhere due to him being the King's right-hand servant. The second most-important man in the castle was him.  
That hurt me, not as much as it hurt me then. I have to say that, yes, I was being an asshole when he first applied for the job. He was so excited because he knew that thousands of people applied... but I knew that, in reality, he was the only candidate.  
I never spoiled that excitement for him though.  
So even though I should have been thankful that someone finally took the most respected position just under the King, I behaved terribly towards him. After a few days, he'd had enough of my unthinkable treatment and we became deadly enemies. When I was forced to ask him a favour, I didn't go out of my way to find him. When he needed something, he didn't go out of his way to ask me. We practically avoided each other as much as we could. When we couldn't, sneers and glares were paid to each of us as we couldn't possibly stand an another second with each other. Betwixt us was a 'merry war', as one might say.  
Strangely, soon we started growing closer and closer without noticing. We dropped the arguments and the two of us started talking like new acquaintances. I am proud to say that I was granted a fresh start with him, which surely paid off.  
I briefly looked at him once again, and established that he really did look amazingly adorable.  
From enemies, we became strangers, then friends, then best friends. It was a slow transition, but I started to see what really made me like him in the first place.  
He had unbelievable wit. He was so smart, he could even read and write! (No, I still can't.) He did every single job for me - signing contracts, planning battle strategies, organizing our budgets. I could immediately feel that a genius had took the place of my right-hand servant.  
He had immense general knowledge. Popstarian dramas? He knew every one of them. Usually he'd even have the nerve to predict what was going to happen, and he'd be right! Popstarian geography? Of course he was confident at pointing out and naming every field and clump of grass on a map. He'd talk about a single place for ages, telling me what was located in this town, and where the river started in that town. I thought it was incredible, seeing as I always hated geography and couldn't tell a hill apart from a mountain.  
But of course, no one would actually have the audacity to tell me I should improve.  
Popstarian food? Yes of course, he was our main chef. Being my right hand carried many more jobs than one thinks, including the title of the castle's culinary master. Escargon always lived up to that title. It was the Waddle Dees who cooked the meal itself, but he made sure that they were doing the right thing and they were doing it right. I could never think of even doubting his supervisory abilities, but give him praise where is was due. The Waddle Army and Escargon were an excellent team when it came to food. Well, I think they were amazing compared to Chef Kawasaki, at least. His cooking is rather... questionable as it is inedible. (Just don't tell him I said that, that'd be mean.)  
His scope of marvellousness wasn't limited to cooking and TV programmes - he excelled in everything he was pitted against. From sports, where badminton was his favourite, to foreign relations, where his patience outgrew mine in many situations. He was like a walking, living statue of perfection.  
"Sire... Is everything fine?"  
His fingers gently tapped my shoulder, leaving me to wonder how soft they were under his gloves.  
"Sire... You have been staring at me for long, and Waddle Dees are waiting for orders!"  
His soft voice rose with impatience, and smile converted to a grimace.  
Okay, he never was impatient at meetings with officials, but that didn't mean he didn't become frequently annoyed at me.  
He finally decided to shake my shoulders with slight fear, thinking I would attack him.  
But why would I?  
He's my little precious star.  
All Waddle Dees waited with impatience and resident fright in their eyes, thinking that I was about to become angry and lash out at them. Waddle Doo went as far as to bite his own nails in nervousness as fast as a paper shredder.  
However, I just slowly turned to the shuddering Escargon and pet his hair.  
A collective sigh of relief was released from every person in the room, and we all got into the discussion we came here for.  
"Okay Waddle Dees! It is time for a revolution."  
Everyone shouted 'hai!'.  
"We have had enough of all those trash programmes which only keep people entertained because they have nothing else to do. We must make a programme that will keep people on the edge of their seats!"  
The Waddle Dees' cries of affirmation rose in volume.  
"Any suggestions?"  
It was as if time stopped. A tornado swept through the room and left no survivors. A person had died and the crowds were mourning their loss. Everyone immediately closed their mouths and stopped stomping their feet. It was strangely quiet. One could probably be able to hear a needle drop into the floor. They stopped looking straight into my eyes and averted them onto the polished tiles under their shoes. No one said a single thing.  
"Yes guys, I know the floor is unusually clean today" - nervous laughs - "but we need a new programme."  
Suddenly, Escargon used my shoulder to jump a bit higher and waved his hands at the downtrodden army to get their attention.  
"And when do we need it? We need it now!"  
He attempted to sound encouraging, but something was telling me he was just as distressed as the rest of them were.  
None of his hopeful cries had worked, as the circle remained quiet.  
I turned to Escargon very discreetly.  
"And what about you?"  
He jumped as if he saw a one-eyed Scarfy and swiftly pivoted to face me. He was absolutely terrified, pointing at himself. His finger was shaking so violently I could barely suppress a laugh.  
"M-Me?"  
I don't know why, but I just loved it when he stuttered. He was so, so adorable when he was frightened, as strange as that may sound.  
I smiled in response to his terror.  
"Yes, you Escargon. Do you have any ideas to contribute to the circle?"  
When all Waddle Dees automatically lifted their heads and stared straight at Escargon, I felt so guilty inside. I knew he was going to get extremely embarrassed. He hated many people looking at him at the same time, it caused him to panic.  
"I-I, um, don't really have any...ideas."  
Yes, that sweet little blush was rising to his cheeks! He looked like an ashamed schoolgirl who was too proud to admit she forgot her homework.  
"Oh c'mon Esky, you must have something on your mind. Anything."  
His eyes widened at my sneaky nickname which no other person seemed to notice. My servant looked absolutely mortified, but continued to think nonethless.  
His smile brightened when he already had a suggestion in mind.  
"Hm, I may have something that would keep the viewers at the edge of their seats..."  
I quickly dropped onto my knees in front of him, and he flushed again. I caught his shoulders and faced him to see shock in his irises.  
"So what is it going to be?"  
He began to look pretty unsure by now.  
"A day...pro...amme..."  
"Sorry? I didn't quite catch that. Please repeat."  
I gave him a reassuring pat, and he took a deep breath.   
"...A dating programme?"  
There was a minute of pause before every Waddle Dee started cheering like crazy. From a tsunami survival site the throne room transformed into a lively festival. People were clapping and stomping their feet once again to honour the excellent concept.  
I stood up and faced the crowds.  
"Okay okay, please calm down! I'd say that's a brilliant suggestion. At least it is better than nothing."  
Every circle member nodded confidently.  
"Now! Please put your hand up if you are against the idea of a dating show."  
Silence, no limbs going up.  
"Okay, that's fine. Put your hand up if you are for--"  
They didn't need my command to resume their chatter and cheerful cries about the new programme, jumping in joy and dancing around. Contentment resonated within my soul as I swept my eyes over the whole army. I thought, this is my family, and these people will be supporting me with this idea. They will do this for me.  
A delicate pair of fingers tapped me on my shoulder, and I faced the predictable offender.  
His eyes shined with bliss that I had never seen before.  
"S-Sire, I wanted to thank you for allowing me to help you with this scheme."  
The famous blush resurfaced as he immediately caught my hand in his and shook it haphazardly in panic. Once he removed his hand, he held it in his other, close to him.  
I just didn't know what to say, what with all the chaos and people skipping around and him just standing in front of me, having to crane his next to even see my eyes.  
"Yeah yeah, so I, yeah, thanks to you too Goonie, I wouldn't be able to do this without you and etcetera and stuff like that, yeah..."  
I scratched the back of my neck in nervous habit as the Waddle Army started to file out of the hall in neat and harmless legions, Waddle Doo the leader of it all.  
"Bye Sire, we'll have a few plans by tomorrow!"  
I was sure I could hear him telling me something, but I couldn't escape the depths of Esky's eyes. My dear servant was still looking at me, awaiting my response to something he had said, but his eyes were so hypnotising. They were a very glassy green that reminded one of meadows and fields. It felt like they really enraptured your heart in floral vines, nevertheless you didn't struggle to get out but surrendered. You didn't fight back because your heart felt like home amongst this trance-like state. I didn't fight back because it meant I couldn't sneak any glances at the lovable irises I so adored.  
I barely noticed when he coughed quietly and bowed at me, hiding his beauty under those unique green locks of hair.  
"I assume I have been granted the permit to leave."  
He stood up without hesitation and did not wait for my opinion to retreat out of the room with immaculate grace.  
I was left standing alone, in the centre of the throne room, walking through all the possible ways and outcomes of how this could have turned out in my mind.  
Given time and thought, I decided that this probably wasn't the best outcome I could have achieved. I sighed into open space, scolding myself for everything I did and didn't do. Slowly, I walked to my room to plan how this grandiose programme was going to turn out.  
Hopefully, it wouldn't be a failure like the last two, I chuckled, letting old memories envelope my thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!! I wrote this a long time ago, so please give feedback about corrections. If you like this a lot, please tell me!! It may grow into something bigger if I know you're enjoying it! :DDD  
> For now, toodle-oo!!  
> Thank you for reading this and sacrificing time :DDD  
> ((And yes, this will feature Dedesuka at the start))  
> ((I had nothing else to write as filler so just please have mercy upon me))


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